


Mismatched

by YumeArashi



Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: BFFs, Gen, Humor, Kink Meme, Sexual Harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-03-09
Packaged: 2017-12-04 18:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/713606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeArashi/pseuds/YumeArashi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The assassins are uniquely compatible with their respective sidekicks.  So when the Apple switches them around, things go….poorly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mismatched

**Author's Note:**

> Set post-AC1 (Masyaf), late AC: Brotherhood (Italy, modern Assassins). Inspired by this kinkmeme prompt: http://forkinsocket.livejournal.com/19860.html?thread=5200276#t5200276

Altaïr stalked through the halls of Masyaf, scowling.  This was not unusual – but the cause of it was.  _Does he never cease talking?_   he thought in exasperation as the Italian inventor trailed along behind him, exclaiming enthusiastically about everything from the architecture to the books in the library.

The artist had very nearly been killed when the Apple had left him where Malik had stood not moments before.   Upon seeing the obvious foreigner in the heart of Masyaf, Altaïr had come at Leonardo with his blade out, and only some very fast talking on Leonardo’s part (and a quick shift into Eagle Vision) had managed to convince the Assassin that the strange European was an ally.

Leonardo had managed to deduce with surprising speed where and even when the Apple had taken him, and more importantly, he was handling the idea with remarkable aplomb.  Altaïr just wished that Leonardo hadn’t also deduced who the master assassin was.  Once Leonardo had guessed that he was in the presence of the author of the Codex, he was ecstatic, talking excitedly about the encryptions (some of which Altaïr hadn’t even used yet) and ideas contained in it.  But although the eager delight made Altaïr uncomfortable, at least the other man was highly intelligent.  It was good to know that his descendant would have a formidable ally.

 

* * *

 

 Lucy Stillman was not amused.  “I said, keep your hands _off_.”

“But bella, what is your hurry?” Ezio gave her a lazy grin.  He still had trouble believing that her skin-tight outfit didn’t belong to a courtesan (or whatever passed for them in her future) even though his cheek still stung from her slap after he’d voiced the assumption.   “The Apple will return you to your own place all in good time.  Why not enjoy ourselves in the meantime?”

Lucy glared.  Ezio might be handsome, but  like far too many men she’d met, he seemed to be thinking with the wrong head.  “We keep working until we find a way to fix this.  And the next finger you lay on me, you’ll lose.”  Seeing Ezio grin as if that were a personal challenge, Lucy quickly outlined her team’s current situation, ending with  “And that’s why we need this fixed as soon as possible.  We were running out of time even before….whatever the Apple just did.”

Ezio looked thoughtful.  “That explains much of what I saw under the basilica.  It is a shame the Apple did not send your Desmond, I would have been curious to meet him.”

“You’d like him.  He’s a good man,” Lucy sighed wistfully.

“Ah, but cara, I can be a good man t- Ow!  All right, all right, we work!”

 

* * *

 

“And you call yourself an Assassin?  I could have taken you down even with my remaining arm tied behind my back!”

From his prone position on the cold, hard floor, Desmond winced.  He didn’t doubt it; despite his handicap, Malik was a fierce and relentless fighter. 

“Come, up, again.”

 _And a merciless trainer_ , Desmond thought with a sigh he dared not let slip. 

It had taken some time for Desmond, Shaun, and Rebecca convince a very hostile Malik of what had happened.   The dai was disappointed that they had no Apple in this timeline and thus could do nothing themselves to rectify the problem.  Forced to wait until Altaïr undid “whatever that imbecile stumbled into”, Malik had been enthusiastically grilled by Shaun (who was in absolute historical ecstasies; Desmond was glad it was Malik and not Leonardo who’d come through, otherwise Shaun might’ve creamed his pants).  Malik had asked several shrewd questions of his own, but when most went unanswered for fear of damaging the timeline, he decided that he’d rather see how Altaïr’s ancestor was coming along in his training.

Not well, apparently, as the one-armed man repeatedly issued swift defeat to the modern assassin.

“Foolish boy, you need to do better than that  or you won’t last long.  You’re worse than that useless novice!”

Desmond, who had a better idea than most just how severe an insult that was, winced again as he dragged himself to his feet for another brutal round.

 

* * *

  

It had taken some time, but between Altaïr’s knowledge of the Apple and Leonardo’s bright intellect, they managed to piece out what had gone wrong and how to fix it.  There was a flash of light much like the first, and there was Malik, glaring at Altaïr like he’d never left.  “So you finally managed to figure it out, did you?  Idiot novice, what took you so long?  I swear I’m going to take that wretched device and throw it in the - what are you smiling at, you fool?”

Altaïr didn’t even try to explain.  Malik would never understand how good it felt to be called an idiot novice at that moment.

Malik sighed and shook his head, but a tiny hint of a smile played about his lips as well.  Yes, Altaïr was an idiot novice – but he was _Malik’s_ idiot novice.

It was good to be back.

* * *

 

“Ezio!  You will not believe where I have been!” Leonardo greeted his friend with an enthusiastic hug.  He seemed not the least bit disconcerted by his inadvertent jaunt through time, as though he’d merely taken a trip to some exotic destination.

Ezio chuckled, returning the embrace heartily.  Though he’d made light of the situation with Lucy, he’d truly feared that he might not see his friend again, or that Leonardo might return somehow irrevocably changed.  “I might believe better than you think.”

“Oh?  Why is that?” Leonardo said curiously.

“Never mind.  Tell me all about it, si?” Ezio smiled fondly at the artist, and pulled down a bottle of wine, knowing that Leonardo would be talking excitedly for hours to come.

He couldn’t think of any better way to spend his evening.

 

* * *

 

“Lucy!  Thank God you’re okay!” Desmond grinned widely.

“I am, but what about you?” she stared.  The young assassin was covered in dirt and bruises.

“Oh, I’m fine.  Long story.”  As the others came over, exclaiming in relief, he said quietly, “I’m glad you’re back.”

“Yeah,” she smiled, “me too.”


End file.
